2022 World Tour – Abu Dhabi
Hello from Abu Dhabi, my first stop on the trip and I’m settled in after a few days in-country. Very happily, the condo-to-hotel journey was uneventful, except as described below.
I think I’ll start each post with a summary of important things I’m finding in each location. This list will evolve over time:
– Cool Ranch Doritos: No!
– Thai ATM Card Works: Yes
– Thai Internet Purchase Card Works: Yes & No
– USA Backup Credit Card Works: Pending
– Worldwide Telephone/Data/SMS Number Works: Yes & No
– VPN Works: Priceless
– COVID Compliance Chronicles: Ugh.
I’ve checked several stores, no “CRD” as the cool kids, er I, call it. This is going to be my Great White Whale on the trip – the elusive Cool Ranch corn chip. My Thai ATM card has worked well so far – fingers crossed. My Thai Debit card worked charging several things when inserted into the point-of-sale machine but then was rejected for a dinner. The next day it worked again. I had to do a painful online chat with my US credit card company because their web page to add a “Travel Notice” was broken. That card should now work internationally for 3 months, then I get to do it again. I have an eSIM phone number that is supposed to last for 1 year and work for voice, data and SMS around the world. At first it properly received my bank’s secret authorization purchase SMS code, but last night it didn’t. I need this to work to do things like future hotel bookings online using the debit card, which is a significant key to the smooth flow of the trip. It also allows me to cross country boundaries without buying a new SIM card and plan each time. Fingers crossed that it actually works. Some sites, and not the bad ones you’re thinking about, just don’t work from here in the UAE but the VPN really comes through nicely.
COVID is going to be a major factor on the trip as each country has its own evolving rules about pre-entry testing & vaccination requirements, then masks and further testing once inside. For the UAE, you have to 1) upload your passport and vaccination information on a web site, which worked well. Then you 2) download an app on your phone that gives you a big green checkbox to show you’re in compliance when you enter restaurants, malls, beach areas, etc. Well, to make this happen you’re supposed to 3) get a magic unique human identifier number from your immigration agent upon arrival. My immigration agent did-not-want-to-be-working-at-midnight, add on top poor quality hand and eye scanning equipment. Nobody could get it to work and he just sent people through with a back-wave of his hand. I studied the situation and got both hand and eye scans to work but he just waved me on too, without dispensing my critical magic number. When I got to the hotel I explained and they were able to look up my magic number based on my passport. Yay! Then I’m supposed to 4) get a free local telephone number somehow and the app authenticates you through that phone number. The hotel staff are not able to access my magic phone number. Boo! So anytime I enter somewhere, I have to show my locally-obtained PCR test and my paper proof of vaccine which I have stapled inside my passport. Clumsy, but it works and seems very common for tourists here.
I got a taxi for USD $13 to go 5km from the airport to the hotel, checked in and had to pay USD $30 in additional taxes. Ugh. This place is not going to be amenable to a penniless hitchhiker trying to see the wonders of the Universe for less than 30 Altarian Dollars a day.
I woke up after a glorious sleep in my hotel and walked 3km in a warm breeze (yay for cooler than Thailand in April!) to Yas Mall to get my PCR test. Now, I’m staying on Yas Island, one of the many neighbourhoods in the vast Abu Dhabi region, made up of dozens of flat sand islands. Why did I pick this? Because the Formula 1 track called Yas Marina Circuit, is right across the street! Everything here has Yas in the name, to help identify things I suppose. So I went from my hotel in Yas Plaza, past Yas Marina Circuit, past Yas Links golf course to Yas Mall, found the Yas Clinic and got my Yas PCR test. All but the last are true. 5 hours later the test came back clean so I’m free to explore for the next 7 days, waving my paperwork everywhere.
I walked around the simply massive mall and hunted down some local fast food and got a chicken doner pita sandwich. It was simply massive – I mean American-size portion massive. I spotted a Formula-style car in a shop and of course walked in to check it out. Turns out it’s the “Racing Experience” for the race track. They offer sessions in Ferraris, Aston Martins, Caterhams and that Formula-style car. $1500 for an hour in the Ferrari sounds like once-in-a-lifetime-doable, but then you find out 45 minutes of that is safety briefing and training leaving only 15 minutes in the car. $100 a minute behind the wheel. Yeah nah. I’d rather stay for a month in a 300 year old castle hotel in Zagreb. I’ve done better acceleration in the Tesla anyway. I did book something interesting however – a behind-the-scenes facility tour driving a Polaris ATV. Nearly the full hour exploring the venue and good value for money.
I walked to Ferrari World which is attached to the mall. It’s normally USD 90 to get in, but the ticket lady gave me 10% off for being almost old enough to qualify for their Senior discount. It’s huge and not helped by a lack of signs and no paper maps. You’re supposed to download their PDF map but hard it’s hard to scroll and zoom on a tiny phone screen. Ugh. I went to the Formula Rosso roller coaster, which is billed as the fastest in the world at 240kph and G forces from 1.7 at launch to 4.8 during the ride. I’ve attached a video I took of the coaster that launched just before me. How was it? Oh my fuck. I think I saw God and the inside of my own ass at the same time. At launch it just kept pulling Gs, then into hard corners, weightless at the top of loops, etc. I survived by just holding on and grunting through the whole thing. Wow. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_Rossa There were lots of other Ferrari-themed things, but two of the other rides were out of order. Was it worth the price? No. Did I have to go? Yes.
Feeling the 4 hours of jet lag kick in, I got in a taxi and paid USD $7 for the ride home. Taxis are plentiful here but expensive. I’ll see if the Grab Taxi app is any better. Turns out that’s a no.
The next morning I waked to Yas Shoreline (I told you!) and had a nice goat cheese salad, hummus, bread and a banana smoothie while looking out across the marina. I got a taxi to the proper gate at the racetrack and checked in. The other two people on the tour were more than 15 minutes late so I ended up getting a private tour from Zeeshah, who is a GT-class racer, driving instructor, FIA track liaison and the guy who came up with the idea of the ATV venue tour. After donning the noise-cancelling radio headset, I followed him around at 120kph to the drag strip, which was requested by the UAE government to allow the rich kids to get their jollies under safe conditions rather than street racing. From there we went to the skidpad, the helipad next to the marina, the permanent villas and garages for the racing teams and then to the infield of the track where we watched the Aston Martins and Caterhams fly past. I’m very happy with the experience, would recommend it for any racing fan. Turns out the other two showed up an hour late and were irate that we didn’t wait for them. You snooze you loose beyotch.
The next morning I got the free shuttle bus to Yas Beach (yep…) A very nice area, with comfy lounge chairs and large shade umbrellas and freshwater pools. It’s got a good food and drink menu, although expensive. I walked the beach from end to end, surprisingly the water was very chilly, and the pool was super hot! I spent the afternoon there, napping on and off.
The hotel now tells me there is a free shuttle bus that goes from the hotel to Yas Mall, looping every 35 minutes. Great. I had yet another huge dinner of Turkish food, this is where the debit card didn’t work, luckily I had ATM cash as a backup. As I was walking out, a screaming child ran full speed across the lobby and straight into my leg, bounced off and went screaming in another direction. I stopped and gave the mother the stinkeye but she just turned and walked away, letting society raise her child. While most people here have been simply wonderful and accepting, I’m sensing a small pattern of entitlement. I went to the Carrefour “hypermarket” in the basement where I found no trace of CRD, leading to a deep depression. I got a 6 pack of Coke Light, a Snickers and a Twix to console myself with later.
The next day I put on my long pants and got a taxi to the Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque. Wow, huge and impressive, white marble with colorful stone inlays, truly beautiful. Tomorrow is the start of Ramadan, but I didn’t see any special preparations. From there I got another taxi to the Emirates Palace Hotel, located at one end of the Corniche beach. It’s of course huge and beautiful from the outside, made from red marble. On the inside it’s all gold, it looks like Trump’s wet dream. I then started walking along the beach to the other end of the Corniche, about 8km away. I spotted an Aston Martin dealer and went it but they were actually closed and shooed me out the door. I walked along the beachfront, pretty hot at this point with a little shade from trees along the way. I stopped at a Cinnabon, one of the few places that was open, got a chicken sandwich, DC and a chocobun. The girl said Ramadan fast had already started so I should be careful where I eat it. I told her I was sorry, I thought it started today at sundown. I asked if I could sit at a table in the corner of the empty shop and she said it was OK. I then walked the rest of the way, legs aching and now sweating freely. I turned into town at the end and found a local restaurant. I asked the owner how long until it’s OK to eat, he said about an hour. He kept checking his phone and when the magic sunset time hit, I ordered a shashuka with a massive pita. Another USD $20 taxi ride and I was back home.
I tried to book a hotel for my next stop in Dubai in 3 days but the Thai bank secret code would not arrive, blocking the transaction from going through. Ugh!
I’m writing this the next day while I’m back on Yas Beach. The staff is handing out menus so I guess this place is mostly tourists – it looks like they’ve giving us Ramadan dispensation. Grilled chicken wrap and Coke Light for USD $25 here I come!
Next post will be after my arrival in Dubai. Enjoy the pictures!
