Around The World – Miami Beach, Florida
My goal for this leg of the trip is to get from Sanibel Island to Miami, the launching point for the European leg of the tour.
Taking yet another chance to get kicked in the face by Airbnb, I booked an “Instant Book” place, which acts like a hotel booking. No waiting for the host to respond, no wondering if the host is going to reject you at the last minute. Turns out this was an excellent place, glad I found it. It’s got three rental rooms so there were folks coming and going through my visit.
The house is set in the northern part of Miami Beach, a tall and narrow island just off the coast of the Miami mainland. In the morning, I looked out my bedroom sliding glass door, turns out the house is right on the Intercoastal waterway that further splits Miami Beach (island) north to south. The back of the house is a wooden deck with direct access to the water. It has nice views up and down but the water looks a little green and unhealthy, I suspect there’s no real current to keep the water circulating. Small boats and jet skis go by occasionally. The house has kayaks for renter use and you can paddle your way to the somewhat open water of the Miami Bay.
The Airbnb host is Eric, a 6′ 4″ surfer-dude looking guy, part-time male model and bartender with a ripped body. He’s complaining that he feels out of shape. I want to punch him in the throat, then implant my brain into his body.
Another renter is called Keith who turns out to be a futures stock trader, personal trainer, boxer and karate fighter with yet another ripped body, and former porn star. Not kidding. His stage name is Talon and he was inducted into the AVN Hall Of Fame this year. Go ahead and look him up if you dare. We had an interesting talk about the industry, the details of which I will not go into here. Since I like to learn new things every day, I’ll try to get some of his top tips and techniques…
The other renter is the road tour and studio recording manager for the rapper Fat Joe. And then there’s me. What’s that Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the others….”
I decided to explore the local neighbourhood so I walked north a few blocks then tried to go west to see some of the houses with their own piers on Miami Bay but it’s all gated off with security guards of course. Bastard 1%ers! I went east about 5 blocks to the Atlantic ocean. With a nice wide beach, the ocean side is a continuous stream of large hotels. I walked as far north as possible to the bridge at the North Beach end of the island, then came inland to the main road and went south to a shopping mall where, dripping with sweat, I had an $18 salad. Hmmm, time to think about getting some groceries and eating at home.
Got confirmation that my new California friend Jennifer Journey is going to come to visit me when I get back to Thailand. We’re planning on arriving on the same day so we can grab the bus down to Hua Hin. She has promised to cook for me, starting with dessert! Woo hoo!
I jumped on the great city bus and went 70 blocks down to South Beach to a well-reviewed scooter rental place. They wanted $50/day for a fairly beat-up 49cc Chinese unit but I said I wanted it for 4 days so they went down to $30. As I drove away I heard an incredible screeching noise from the smallest application of the rear brake, so I went back to the shop to exchange it, but they said all of the small bikes do it because “It’s Miami”. Hmmm. I took a video of every crack, scratch and dent before I drove away. I’ve found if I use the back brake just to the point of the sound and then judicious application of the front brake means I can handle myself in traffic. A couple of sudden stops at traffic lights have resulted in disapproving stares. Hey, “It’s Miami” people!
I drove all the way down to the bottom of South Beach, then back up to the top of North Beach, then back to my place by around dinner time. Lost count of the number of Rolls and Bentleys. A few Ferraris, a Porsche 911 GT3 RS, a Fisker Karma and a Mclaren MP4-12C rounded out the list. The boats are incredible here too, docked everywhere, and sized from small family boat to oceangoing megayacht. Bastard 1%ers again!
Decided I didn’t want to blow a lot of money on dinner in a restaurant so I went to Publix and bought about $40 worth of groceries, fruit, cereal, hummus, salads, and canned tuna.
The next days were spent exploring the island. I walked up and over to the beach again, but turned south, walked down to 45 Street and then north back home, for a total of 90 blocks. I was pretty knackered after that. Much riding of the scooter, now I’m a pro with the rear brake screeching effect.
My flight to Glasgow doesn’t go until 10 PM so on my last day I packed up by 10 AM but hung out at the house until about 2 PM when I need to ride my scooter back to the rental shop by 3 PM. I tried to figure out how to tie my suitcase to the rack on the back of the bike but I couldn’t find any string in the house. I extended the bag’s handle, placed the main bag on the rear rack and the handle forward on the seat under my bum, and it worked very well. I drove down and checked in the bike, the guy said everything was fine but I’m a bit worried that they’ll try to keep my credit card deposit. I had to ask for a copy of the check-in paperwork, without that it would have been their word against mine.
From the bike shop I walked down a few blocks in the heat, trailing my side-to-side oscillating bag until I found a gelato shop. I stopped in and got chocolate and lemon and cooled down. I walked a few more blocks down to a TGI Friday’s I was at before. I had a smoothie and read my book until about 6:30 when it was time to head for the airport.
Next up, the annoying trip to gloomy and rainy Glasgow!
