My Trip to Tonsai, Thailand
My cool-cat beret-wearing former solar co-worker Catlin Matthies was planning his trip to a new job in Singapore and wanted to do some rock climbing in southern Thailand along the way. We made a plan to meet up at Tonsai beach, which is just outside Krabi. The draw for Catlin is it’s one of the top rock climbing sites in the world, with sheer cliff faces formed from ancient underwater limestone deposits. The climbing is so hard here they had to add more categories to the rock climbing difficulty scale. This is the area where they filmed The Beach (Koh Phi Phi) and James Bond’s The Man With The Golden Gun (Koh Tapu). It’s really beautiful, and you end up in awe of the cliffs and the processes that formed them over the ages. Me, I much prefer staying on level ground or in the water but it sounded like a great adventure, so I’m in. I like to avoid the sudden deceleration trauma just as your body hits the ground at terminal velocity.
Day 1:
I enjoy the Thai train system, and it can get me almost all the way to Tonsai, so I decided to go with that. The trip starts with the train from Hua Hin to Surat Thani, then connects with a bus to Krabi. There have been many discussions about adding a spur train line from Surat Thani to Krabi/Phuket, but nothing is built yet, hence the bus. I had a comfortable 2 hour layover from train arrival to bus departure so I expected no problems making the connection. The train was shown on the arrival board as10 minutes, then 20 minutes, then 40 minutes, then an hour late arriving at my station. We got on and proceeded south for a while, then we backed up for about 10 minutes to the previous station, to a siding to let another train through, where we stopped for about half an hour. I could see much waving of hands by many train people on the platform. And without any other train activity, we magically we just started down again. And this train is called The Express! This is the problem with a single-track system – any delays cause a conflict for two opposing trains and somebody’s going to be delayed even more getting it sorted out. After getting into Surat Thani 3 hours late, I had missed the last bus of the day, so I had to stay overnight. Checking agoda.com on my phone, I found a great flash discount on a hotel for B850 ($26) which turned out to be pretty good. It was on the other side of town from the train station so I had an entertaining B200 ($6) taxi ride. The hotel must have had problems with people losing or walking away with keys because they charged me a B500 ($15) deposit for my key. The TV didn’t work well, so I hacked into the menu system and re-scanned all of the channels. I hope the next person in the room enjoys my efforts.
Day 2:
Luckily the bus station was just a few blocks from the hotel. There are two bus stations in Surat Thani, conveniently named #1 and #2. They are about a block away from each other. According to a web site I found, the bus to Krabi leaves from station #2, so I walked over there. Helpful people at station #2 said the bus actually leaves from #1, so I walked over there. Helpful people at station #1 said the bus actually leaves from #2, so, blood pressure rising, I walked back over again. After some additional detective work and ignoring some quite unhelpful bus ticket sellers, I found that the bus stops at an unmarked place in the alley between #1 and #2. It would be nice if they just let it park at one of the largely empty official bus stations… The bus ride was fairly comfortable, but about an hour longer than advertised. When I arrived at the Krabi bus station, I got a 20km motorbike taxi ride to the beach at Ao Nang. I was holding on to the motorbike passenger handgrips so tightly that I couldn’t stretch my fingers straight for about 10 minutes. The only way to get to Tonsai from Ao Nang is by longboat. These are long (duh) wooden boats capable of carrying about 15 people and fitted with an un-mufflered automobile gas engine and a very long prop shaft that the driver pivots to steer. I bought a ticket for B100 ($3) and made it from the Ao Nang beach around the rocky point to Tonsai beach where Catlin was already staying. From the beach I walked up the dirt trail to the hotel / bar / wooden hut area. As you might expect from a largely young backpacker / climber culture, accommodations are a little on the rough side, but not cheap at all! I checked into a hut at Banyan Bungalow for B700 ($21), which was overpriced by about B680 ($20). It was a wooden hut with huge gaps in the walls and windows, big enough for a bird to fly through, a hard mattress on a platform with patched mosquito netting and a “bathroom” with sink, cold shower and bucket toilet. When I turned on the overhead fan, it sounded like the motor was full of broken glass and spun at around 3 rpm. Unsurprisingly, power on the beach only works 6 PM to 6 AM. I spent a sweaty, uncomfortable night, and quickly decided to check out the next morning in search of more upscale lodgings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an Eagle Scout and have camped in the woods, underground in caves, in blizzards and in thunderstorms, but I’m so past that now. I’m twice as old as most of the kids there and now crave a certain level of creature comforts, like no disease-carrying bugs in my bed and flush toilets. Cue the foreshadowing movie music…
Day 3.
I woke up, paid my B700 for the night and walked just down the path to Dream Valley Resort. Now, this is what it’s all about! I got a standalone room up the hill with a great mountain cliff-face view, all-day power except 1-2 PM (because the hotel has its own generator), working tight windows, air conditioning, big soft bed, warm shower and a working toilet. More heavy foreshadowing here, folks. The room was normally priced at B2900 ($88) but I bargained down to B2600 ($78) by booking for 5 nights. I signed the credit card slip with glee and jumped right in the shower. I walked back down to the beach area and booked a SCUBA trip to the local islands Koh Haa and Koh Kom for B2500 ($75) and another trip to nearby Koh Phi Phi for B3500 ($106), for whatever days they got enough people to sign up. I took a longboat ride back to Ao Nang for the afternoon and got my shirt and shorts splashed with thick mud by the boat driver, who then refused to give me B50 to pay for my laundry. If you go to Ao Nang, don’t use boat #22, the driver is not a nice man! I walked around looking for an English book to read and found one at a book exchange shelf at a hotel for B50. It’s an autobiography of hockey all-star Theo Fleury. He’s had a difficult life and the language is very strong, but it’s definitely worth reading if you’re a hockey fan. I normally eat Thai food, but I broke down and had lunch at Subway, as I didn’t want to take any chances on getting sick from something from the local food sellers. Add to the foreshadowing here. I took the longboat back to Tonsai and found Catlin on the beach, watching the final climbing of the day as the sun set. I had dinner with Catlin and his new climber friend Kyle Anderson from San Francisco. A couple of English girls sat down at our table, Georgia and Lucy, obviously drawn by all of the testosterone! Georgia is training as a yoga instructor so she offered to lead a class the next day. We walked down to Freedom bar, had a few drinks on the cushion-covered wooden platforms, shouted over the volume of the music, then walked up the trail to the 9 PM fire show at Small World Bar which kicked off right on time at 9:48. This involved a talented and/or stoned guy spinning one, two or three metal bars with gasoline-soaked-rag-flaming ends, while he’s walking, kneeling or lying on a 20-foot long, 1-inch wide strap suspended between two trees about 2 feet off the ground, while reggage music plays. Add in some mind-altering substances amongst the crowd and it makes for a cool show. This beach is ranked as the best cannibis- and magic mushroom-friendly place in Thailand and it was available in several formats including “peace cake”.
Day 4.
Today was SCUBA day for me, at two of the local islands. We took a longboat about 10 minutes to the dive boat, then about 30 minutes put-putting out to the first island, Koh Kom. This was my my first dive in 5 years, and I had to convince my reptilian brain again that I could breathe underwater. This comes with some apprehension and anxiety and I burned through a lot of air, lasting only 38 minutes at a maximum depth of 16 meters. My divemaster had only two of us and when it was clear I was using up my air, he gave Sol to the other divemaster so I had Richard to myself for a 1:1 guided tour of the walls and reefs. On the second dive at Koh Haa (Island Five) I did much better, lasting 48 minutes at a maximum depth of 20 meters, with some air left over. I struggled with positive buoyancy on both dives, constantly kicking in a down attitude, even with 12 800g (21 lbs) of lead weight ballast. Now I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and am pretty trim now, so there’s no way I’m displacing that much water anymore. Richard figured I have big lungs and in my apprehension I was taking too deep breaths and making myself buyoant, so I’ll try to focus on medium, slow breaths on future dives as I get comfortable. We got back to shore and I met up with the group, adding Sophie Jost and Annabel Da Silva from France along the way. We walked down to the beach and Georgia led about 10 of us through a yoga session. It was amazing to look up at the vertical cliff face right above us, and see the sun set across the water about 15 seconds after we finished.
Day 5.
Today was kayak day. Catlin, Kyle, Annabel, Sophie and I rented kayaks and paddled around the point towards Ao Nang. They paired up and I took a single seater, which turned out to not be in my favour, as I had to make every paddle stroke to move, so I was always trailing the other two. There are some sea wall climbing points along the way and they all gave them a try, jumping or falling safely into the water from about 20 feet, while I watched and took pictures from my safe kayak location. We then set out west to Koh Kom, then drifted on the current towards the beach at Koh Poda. After paddling myself for about 5km, I was very hungry and thirsty. I had a tuna salad, banana & Nutella roti and pineapple juice. Even heavier foreshowing here, folks. We decided it was too far to paddle all the way back against the current to Tonsai, so we wanted to hire a longboat to take our 3 kayaks and 5 people back. Catlin asked one driver and was given a price of B1500, which sounded high. We then asked Annabel to get a price and using her French feminine wiles, we got back home for B700. Score one for the bikini! Note to self: a GoPro camera in still picture mode takes a very wide view, so get close to what you want to shoot. Also, wipe any water drops off the case in front of the lens, and keep out of direct sun as condensation can form inside the case. Back on shore, Kyle introduced me to his friend, another climber Daniel Scheiman. He and Kyle worked together doing sound work in San Francisco, so we formed the California contingent on little Tonsai beach. We played cards that evening at Freedom bar until I got a sudden feeling in my gut. This is where all of the foreshadowing pays off. Now, I have a digestive allergy to onions and am very in tune with the signals from my various organs, but this was different. This was like onions times 9/11. I quickly excused myself and scuttled back to my room and made it just in time. I spent an eventful night, but was thanking my foresight for booking such a magnificent bathroom. At that point, I would have sold a kidney for the privilege. Apparently nobody gets out of Tonsai without a serious case of Tonsai Tummy, or what we began calling The Dengue. No matter if you stubbed your toe, you called it The Dengue. We didn’t have fever, headache or hemmoraging as with normal Dengue Fever, but it became the catchphrase of the week.
Day 6.
In the morning I gingerly walked down the path to the front desk to tell them I didn’t have a Do Not Disturb hanging sign on my door. I used small words and hand signals to indicate my lack of a sign, since I didn’t want the cleaning ladies to come into my room at an inopportune time. I then went next door to the minimart and bought water, juice and Gatorade. By the time I got back to my room, there was a guy spraying WD-40 into my door lock. I literally cannot imagine how they got “My lock is sticky” from all of my hand signs about a missing Do Not Disturb sign. I went through the pantomime exercise again with the guy and he said “Ah!” and walked away, hopefully in search of my sign. I spent the day in the room, reading, sipping and evacuating. I had a 12 hour bus and train ride home in 2 days so I wanted to get this flushed out of my system. By 8 PM, things had quieted down, so I walked down to the beach and found the crowd, and slowly sipped on more Gatorade. We heard there was a Moustache Party at The Roof bar, so we walked up for that. Being literally on the roof of the building, it had a great view of the jungle and moon and stars, sitting on cushions but of course the music was too loud for conversation. Note to non-dancing bar owners â What The Hell Are You Thinking? We met Sol from my SCUBA dive, Really Gay Mikey from Australia and Chelsea from Vancouver who had sprained her ankle on a climb and had to explain the crutch and ace bandange to everyone. The moustache angle came in the form of paper moustache-shapes on a stick â you hold the moustache up to your face, laugh and drink. The girls seemed to get more out of it than the guys, facial hair holds no longer holds any captivation for us. I guess the girls were happy they didn’t have to shave.
Day 7.
I slept in after an uneventful night. I watched Kyle and Daniel climb the insane vertical rock face from the cushions on the platform at Freedom bar. You can see them in one of my pictures, and then you can see me on the ground from Kyle’s picture. I said my goodbyes to Catlin as he was doing his final preparations for his last leg of the trip to Singapore. I walked the easy (according to Catlin and Chelsea â ha!) jungle trail a few hundred meters south over to Railay beach in lieu of another 100B longboat ride. I had juice and Gatorade and a massage, read my book, relaxed and walked the small streets and the beach. I walked back over the jungle trail back to Tonsai and spent the evening with Sophie, Annabel, Kyle, and a couple from France & Argentina living in San Francsico. We seemed to be magnets for all of the Californians. Starting my planning for travelling home the next day, instead of my original plan for the bus and train, I booked a flight from Krabi to Bangkok, then planned to take the airport shuttle coach bus back to Hua Hin. Hua Hin has an airport but there are very few commercial flights in and out, which I find surprising. We sat out in the sand under the full moon until after midnight. What a great way to end my last day.
Day 8.
Around 11 AM I started my trip home. I took a longboat back to Ao Nang (not #22), and got the front of my shorts dirty climbing in! Damn! Lesson â don’t wear clean clothes when you travel in a longboat! The local legendary Swiss climber Dominique was on my boat, on his way up to Chaing Mai, his shiny purple plastic suitcase in tow. His claim to fame is climbing naked. Yes. Really makes the moment for him apparently. Not sure of the effect on his fellow climbers. I got on an extremely slow, overcrowded shuttle bus to the Krabi airport, with suitcases and backpacks piled up at the front and in the ailes. I strongly recommend taking a taxi instead â it’s just not worth the hassle. My flight to Bangkok was, of course, late. There were three flights all boarding at the same gate and you can imagine the confusion with all of the tourists speaking different languages trying to understand what was going on. I counted sixteen airline staff at the gate and nobody was attempting to tell us what was going on until you got to the front of the line with your boarding pass, then they tell you “Not your flight”. This is very, very typically Thai. Also, after 3 million miles in the air and 46 countries visited – a note to airport designers: If you have to take your passengers on a bus to the plane parked out on the tarmac somewhere, you’ve failed. Get a new job designing parking lots at grocery stores maybe. After we landed in Bangkok, I saw one of the Thai Airways Airbus A380 double-deckers during its taxi out, very cool. Due to the delay leaving Krabi, of course I missed the expected shuttle bus, so had to wait in the airport for 3 hours for the next one. Luckily I like this bus, it was good as ever. I got home about 12 hours after I left Tonsai, but 5 hours before I would have arrived on the train, had it been on time… As I was walking home from the bus station, I went past the big Market Village shopping center. There was a stage set up, and Hua Hin’s version of Elvis, German Ritchie Newton, was performing John Denver’s song Country Roads, by himself with a backing track. There were only 3 people sitting in the audience watching, but he seemed to be having a great time. I’m wrapping up writing this over three weeks later and things in the digestion area are finally back to normal.
In retrospect, with all of my travel travails, I should have just driven my motorbike there and back. It’s about 600 km from Hua Hin to Ao Nang, on generally good roads. At 70 â 80 kph that means one hard day or two easy days ride. I would be able to determine my own schedule, rather than suffer through delays, costs and time wasted getting from one form of transport to another. If I travel around southern Thailand again, I’ll defintely take my motorbike. And thinking back, I never did get my Do Not Disturb sign.